top of page
bronwyntutty

Finding focus in the fog

Rehashed from 2021


Glimpsing back to 2021 and how as a creative, multi faceted and magically minded me I have to work at focus.


I wrote this post back in 2021 in the last business (Bodylushious) I created when I moved to Burntisland, Scotland as a new single mum. I’m delighted to be able to rehash and share these words again here. #timesavingwin! My work through transformational coaching has had such a huge impact on me and on how I manage my mind and challenges with focus. I hope this read shines a light in some of you that when you feel you’re ‘in the fog’, focus is never far away x


Reflections from 2021

I reckon I have what is medically termed as ADD - and I'm not just saying that to get your attention, either. I'm deadly serious. Some studies suggest it might be a condition which leads people to have more original ideas. I'm not too hung up on labels. The reality is I live with a challenge that I need to find a way to manage differently.


I find it incredibly difficult to focus. I have struggled with it for years... and years... and years, way back to my early school days. Most of my school report cards feature the phrase 'difficulty concentrating'. I never did get the support I probably needed with that, but thankfully, at 45 yrs of age, I took control.


AND, I suspect I'll spend the rest of my days trying to find peace with it.


I'm a creative. I believe anything's possible. I have loads of ideas. I start loads of things. I have difficulty remembering where I've put things. I have multiples of things, assuring myself one here and one there will be more practical, but then I misplace one 🤔. I focus a lot on teeny tiny details, like concluding I had finished this blog post but then adding to it about ten times more once I sent it away for editing. There’s ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a bit of this and a bit of that I need to do. I create lists, and lists, and more lists and lose track of which list is the 'current' list. I have three calendars on the go at once to separate home, business and my boy. I have a growing to-do list. I don't seem to find the time to stay in touch with my family as much as I thought I would. I juggle multiple demands. My busy mind and big ideas result in 'analysis paralysis', e.g. I think about all the possible options and outcomes of how to spend a child-free evening, and wind up in a heap of overwhelm impacting how I spend the evening. I often get to the end of an evening wondering how on earth I filled my time and why I didn't get round to that sewing project AGAIN. I struggle with finishing the things I start. I do and I do and I do.


On top of that, if I'm not careful and taking care of my ‘whole self’ (Body, Mind, Emotions, Spirit) I can fill myself up with negative chat about how shxt I am for not being on top of stuff. I’ve compared myself to others for not being more this or that. I can feel overwhelmed and live life like I'm running from a massive snowball which is growing in size and speed on the fast track to crushing me.


What are the effects of living like a snowball is going to mow me down?

It's called Cortisol. The stress hormone released from the brain when it detects danger. The hormone that enables us to power through a situation that is unsafe or dangerous. Imagine your baby about to touch a hot oven, you see, your brain fires off cortisol, you act so fast you feel superhuman and then you realise you need to do something to calm down. That's the fight or flight response that empowers you to deal with dangerous situations. Way back when humans ran from a hungry animal in the wild, cortisol's role was literally to save our lives.

Sadly as a societal norm nowadays, an ever-present overdose of cortisol is the state a lot of us live in. It ain't good. I've learned that excessive cortisol exertion leads to adrenal fatigue. There will be differing opinions on this, and I'm no doctor[yet] so please don't take my word for it, I'm merely telling my own story. Here's an interesting read I found on the topic.


I know I'm not alone in often feeling down and overwhelmed. Throw into that a full and busy life, (and back in 2020-2021 a global pandemic) and whatever else any given day brings and you have a situation worth managing better.


What am I doing about it?

I felt quite low for most of the festive season last year. I spent a lot of time focussing on what I ought to have been doing, and marinated in some good old self-pity. But you know what, it served a purpose. I was able to pull myself up from the depths of discomfort and pain and feel in my bones that I wanted something different for my 45th year. I paused and looked around me to see that the life I had created was pretty fecking good, I mean how could I be where I am today if I wasn't at least a bit focussed? I called my own Bullshxt'! I love it when that happens.


My pal Sarah and I

I'm pretty good at trusting, and I am very much up for facing my fears and understanding old habit patterns that do me no justice - it’ll come as no surprise that as a coach, I am a huge fan of self-improvement. Conveniently, my gorgeous pal Sarah is a trained Clinical Psychologist & transformational coach. Sarah launched her first BS (Bullshxt) to Bliss Challenge in early 2021, where the focus was on 'improving the relationship with oneself and others and turning the bullshxt stories we tell ourselves into better and more empowering ones'. In preparation for the challenge, I had a 1-2-1 coaching session with one of the challenge coaches, and through it I was able to identify that I'd lost sight of my 'why', why I do the things I do, why I take on the things I do and why these things are important ingredients for living a life of meaning. NB: If you’re curious about Blasting your BS with Sarah check her out here.


How to focus with my 'why' in mind

Personal 'why' words: Self-Care, Connection, Nutrition, Dance, Expression, Nature

I've pledged to myself to carry my 'why words' into as many areas of my life as I possibly can, from the small daily groundhog tasks to the plethora of projects on the go. I don't really want to drop anything but if I continue running from that snowball I'm going to have to re-assess, so here I am trying a different approach.


I am owning my 'why' and committing fully to setting smaller daily tasks. As an act of self-respect, I will do my best to finish this exercise, knowing that the bliss awaiting me will be sooooo worth the ride.


Fake it till you make it!

Through studying the respiratory and cardiac systems with CNM (The College of Natural Medicine) I understand in basic terms that rushing around, stressing and a feeling of overwhelm all release cortisol and cause faster breathing. This results in a narrowing of blood vessels, which makes it difficult to transport blood around the system to support calmness. That's basically why folk bang on about the importance of deep breathing. By breathing deeply you supply blood with more oxygen, resulting in being more relaxed. EVERYTHING is much easier if you feel relaxed.

Note to self; ‘chill the feck out by BREATHING’! YouTube and free meditation app Insight Timer have loads of ideas.


11 of my personal practical tips and tools for staying 'on-track'
  • Notice and pay attention to all the areas and ways I AM focussed in the space of a day.

  • Get support in areas I need it - the greatest of investments.

  • Marinade in the joy of the beautiful family I have and connections I've made. Knowing that I don't need to be in touch a set number of times each week or year to 'keep my place'.

  • Where study and work are concerned, set small, achievable tasks with my 'Why' in mind.

  • Rosemary; essential oil, in the diffuser, sniff it 'neat', mix with carrier oil and rub on chest, neck and shoulders. And fresh Rosemary herbal tea (grab a stalk next time you pass a garden ;).

  • Take and make time to do something that thrills me! I'm a creative, I'm going to make something for fun, just for me - a 'Why' inspired crown/tiara!!!!

  • Be accountable (I committed to crafting that crown, and to show it to my BS to Bliss coach during our next session). I also have accountability partners in many of the groups I'm in….my dance classes, friends, clients etc).

  • Get outside - deep breathing in fresh air (check out diaphragmatic breathing), move the body (omg....Nia/dance outside = heaven!), soak up Vitamin D (outrageously good for every little part of well-being).

  • Take a bath! I take them as often as I can, and I've freed myself from the guilt of all the water used. I love using them to celebrate and unwind. I love making rituals out of them...the whole shebang, epsom salts, no artificial light, candles, oils, rose petals, crystals - yep, I'm all for it.

  • Use herbs for supporting focus, like Ashwagandha, Gingko Biloba and more (I can recommend nutritionists & herbalists if you're on the look-out).

  • Look at your diet, this plays a HUGE part in your tranquillity. Eating foods that aren’t dense in nutrients leads to your body having to put energy into breaking down goodness knows what. An easy way to approach this is, 'do you know where your food came from'? I don't mean the Co-op - I mean how close is it to its original form? Has it been heavily processed, or not?


For example, look at the ingredients of a loaf of Warburtons white bread: [Wheat Flour [with Calcium, Iron, Niacin (B3) and Thiamin (B1)], Water, Yeast, Salt, Vegetable Oil (Rapeseed, Sustainable Palm), Soya Flour, Preservative: Calcium Propionate; Emulsifiers: E481, E472e; Flour Treatment Agent: Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C)]


VS


Apple & Cashew Butter [made from baked or roasted cashews.]

NB: I'm not slagging off Warburtons, promise; I'm just highlighting a point.


Since I first wrote this post in 2021

Coaching and the ‘self work’ has had a MASSIVE impact on how I talk to myself and manage my mind and life. It’s been a complete game changer. I don’t want to think about how life would look and feel without it. So many things have evolved within me: my self awareness, my ability to communicate and speak my truth, my commitment to doing what I need to do to be the best version of myself. My willingness to ask for help when I need it. My faith in all things unfolding as and when they need to. I trust that I don’t need to ‘force life’, that I can let it happen and pay attention to the times when I need to take a particular action.


I didn’t get to this place without looking equally both ‘at’ and ‘away’ from everything.

Time, space, ageing, support, growth and humility have all been unfolding at varying rates for me since 2021. If re-reading this post has highlighted anything it’s that I'm not stagnating. I’m moving, evolving, transforming and growing. Things that don’t serve me are falling away and things that free me are forth-coming.


I have insight and clarity of those things now which amounts to all the abundance I could hope for.

I get to hold similar transformational, evolving spaces for others too and wow, what a ride that is. How lucky am I?!


I’ll leave you now with a picture of me taken way back then by the delightful and talented Jen Owens of me looking super-focussed in my stripy top, grafting dungas and beautiful skincare studio.....it really is the picture of 'wow, this girl looks like she's totally smoking her shizz!'.


Now you have a better idea of what really happens 'behind the scenes'. If you've any pearls of wisdom to share, I'M WELL UP FOR RECEIVING THEM (seriously, I flipping LOVE feedback!)

And if you actually have made it this far YAY 👊 I'd LOVE it if you left a comment with a few words on your thoughts about what I've shared 🙏🏼


Keep on keeping it real folks!

x Bron


18 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comentarios


bottom of page