Over the summer, I went to a family gathering with Amelia's extended family. It was an absolute ’feast for my senses’. My son and I both went. Something I've really been deliberate about in my adult life is ‘becoming part of people's families’ and getting my son in on that action too is a must. Meeting Amelia 10 years ago at a baby music class in Edinburgh was the start of those ‘I want in this family’ moments!
At the time of meeting Amelia I was a new mum in a new country (Scotland), I didn’t know it back then but a good friend was going to be a must for the years that would follow. I hit the absolute jackpot with Amelia! All I was really after then was someone to share the ebbs and flows of motherhood together with, plus to create opportunities for our young bubs to develop and grow with a friend.
Two or three years into the friendship, I remember saying to Amelia ‘let’s find a way to do work that results in us having to spend more time together’ - one of my best ever suggestions!. Amelia now works for me in my business, and together with Karolina we bring BodyLove to the world, we front at each other’s classes and events and ideas are always flowing back and forth. Our friendship is rooted deeply in everything that we share.
I’d heard LOADS from Amelia about her sister, Emma, but I only met her in August 2021 at Amelia’s wedding (five whole years after meeting Amelia….how is that even possible?). I noted how ‘hands on’, ‘organised’, ‘creative’, ‘full of family love’ and awesome she was over those three days, but didn’t feel the ‘in’ that my soul craves.
A few months after the wedding, we all went to Wales to celebrate a ‘belated Hen’ for Amelia. Emma and I ended up being roomies and IT WAS SOOOOO SPECIAL!!! Emma also raised her two boys as a single parent. It quickly became apparent that we had so much more than just our love for Amelia in common. What a gift that room allocation was!
In May 2022 as part of the BS to Bliss challenge run by our pal Dr Sarah Madigan I coached Emma, Emma selected me as her coach through the challenge (as recommended by Amelia I suspect). It was the start of Emma diving into the world of deep personal development. I recall our first session; I saw the light in her that roared, and I was excited to hold space for what would be uncovered. Emma went on to do one of the longer courses with Sarah, and I also coached her with eight sessions through that.
I’ve kept an eye (from social media and via Amelia distance) on Emma ever since. Her soul shines bright, and I feel her in harmony with my own spirit so often. In fact, leading up to summer I made a cushion which was part of a craft project Emma created, it was a giftset given to me by Amelia the year before. I finished that cushion and delighted in sharing updates with Emma along the way. It delights the absolute bejeezus out of me to stay connected via these kinds of shares. A love of crafting, resourcefulness, community and connection runs deep between us.
I backed and believed in Emma all those years ago, and despite life and years in between, my belief and faith in her soul's mission never dulls.
And so, back to the extended family Pace summer 2024 getaway. The family gathering was immense, glorious and intense in the best of ways.
The family Pace had met a year before to commemorate the loss of a loved family member and made a vow to meet in another year to connect and celebrate life with the family. There were about 20 or so of us involved in the 4 day weekend and it was FULL in ALL THE WAYS!
Emma organised accommodations for all the family. A mammoth grocery shop (we all know co-ordinating meals and a pile of peeps is a job). Made bunting to decorate the cabins. Organised a gorgeous box full of mementos from all the family for Amelia to celebrate 40 years and turned up with games and activities aplenty. Handled a tribe of ‘completely wild partying Paces of all the ages and stages’ (the Paces have deep festival roots in their DNA with Emma spending loads of her life organising events) including her own two sons and all the delightful parent/child ‘growth opportunities’ that come with that. Prepared and projector-presented a family history for all the family to anchor into their past and created a safe, welcoming and loving space for my son and I to land.
As a mum, friend, coach and enthusiastically curious observer seeing Emma in action activated my spirit and the parts of myself that resonate so strongly with the song of her soul.
As a coach I get to see inside people's lives and to an extent into their minds, I get to understand how they think and feel about life and their part in it. I guess it’s ‘visceral’.
[Google has this to say about Visceral]
“The term "visceral" has multiple meanings, including:
A deep-seated feeling. A visceral feeling is an intuitive feeling that is felt in the gut, or as if it is felt in the internal organs.
Not intellectual. Visceral can also mean something is instinctive or unreasoning, rather than intellectual.
Five years on from our first meeting, there I was in the thick of it all with her and her family, the kids, her siblings, mum and all the extraordinary extras. People watching is my ABSOLUTE FAVE!! And having the ‘insider view’ that I have into Emma made this all the more glorious for me. I’m aware that I sound like a total creep, being so wrapped up in another’s life. I just really really really love the ‘full picture’. The dynamics. The interactions. The laughter. The lines on faces. The looks of love. The things that seem to go unsaid. The things that are said with total conviction. The reading of minds. The care and attention. God, it’s good. And with it not being my own family or ‘organised gathering’, I’m all the more free to observe and soak up to my heart’s content. Anyone who knows me well is well aware I’m a total fiend for this gear. Throw my son in the mix and OMG, we’re talking Tutty goes Turbo on ‘marinating in the moments’.
What I really want to share here is how deeply proud and inspired I am by Emma. Over that ‘Pace family weekend’ I got to witness first hand her growth and how her sense of self had totally blossomed in the most delightful of ways since our cosy yet courageous coaching sessions. How brightly she shone in the room with what I can only describe as an ‘emboldened sense of self’. A sense of self that shouted ‘I’m here to show up and shine and you can too’.
I’ve had it happen on so many occasions where I wonder if a single coaching session has really gotten to the ‘thing’ that needs getting to, or if they’re making a difference, or if I'm growing in the ways that I need or desire to. And then I cast my memory back to a time before those series of conversations happened and I feel like an entirely different person. In those moments of reflections I have full-bodied certainty that the series of powerful conversations I've had have made me into more of the person I’m in this world to be.
Seeing Emma in action that weekend was a resounding sign and reminder to me that our conversations without a doubt have played a huge role in who Emma is in this world to be.
Emma shared the following in our first ever coaching session:
A deep desire to create a community space for people to come together and support each other. On land and in nature. A big balcony. Single mums roaming around with support on hand. Where she was ‘firing on all cylinders’. Part of a group of sisters. A desire for ‘adventure’, sharing, growing, journeying together, where burdens, passion, aliveness and ideas are shared.
At the end of that conversation when asked ‘what are you going to do to go towards this? Emma shared:
‘Hold myself in my power and I'm excited, because something is going to happen’.
On the second day at Family Pace camp I glanced at Emma and had flashbacks to those early coaching sessions and it occurred to me ‘this is EXACTLY what she was talking about five years ago’.
GOOSEBUMPS ALL OVER.
I managed to claw through the crowds and get to Emma and reflect on what I was witnessing and to remind her of what she had shared. It was pretty flipping special.
A COACHING RELATIONSHIP IS SO SPECIAL, IT’S LIKE HAVING YOUR OWN PERSONAL CHEERLEADER!
And geez for all the ways that my memory feels shot at times, it ‘fires on all cylinders’ when it comes to a person’s dreams and desires.
Coaching conversations are not trivial, fluffy or superfluous. They are powerful, expansive, courageous, bold and brilliant. They are a space where a coach and coachee are invited to have a series of conversations that help to make sense of the magic of a mind and circumstances in life. A space where important questions are asked, and there is the time to reflect on what truly matters in one’s sweet and precious life. It’s where the messy stuff gets looked at and where the brave and the bold gets the attention it deserves. It’s all part of the ‘self-work’. It’s looking at why we do what we do and getting clear about how we want our lives to be.
Coaching is POTENT.
I got to hold space for Emma to explore what is possible in her spectacular yet fleeting life and for her to share her hopes and dreams. That weekend I was part of that dream she dreamt and the best part is that I know there is so much more to come.
I’ll finish up by sharing some words from Emma when I shared that I was going to write a blog post focussed on her.
Before Bron
I used to wake up every day and have a panic feeling rush through my body when I thought about my finances. I was in a mess financially. It dominated everything. I was a good, kind, optimistic, creative person, and I tried so hard to turn things around but never got very much further forward. I was not grounded. I would say yes to anything as I felt grateful to be asked and wanted to please. I often ran myself into the ground. I didn’t have boundaries; so I was just swept along with things without evaluating if it was right for me. Through doing the work (with Bron and Sarah Madigan) I came to realise I was living in a scarcity model. Doing the work illuminated the stories from my childhood which impressed upon me that there wasn’t enough of anything to go around, food, money, love, friends, hugs etc and it would run out soon. So I lived with a bit of panic inside me all the time.
As an adult I lived a life of financial scarcity. This has been an unbearably heavy weight on my shoulders for ALL of my life. I have worried about money for as long as I can remember. It led me to do some crazy stuff. Never enough!
Doing the work with Bron helped me see I was creating this reality for myself by expecting the worst. I started to look at all the amazing things I have done, to find things to be grateful for in every moment, and to see myself as ‘rich’. Maybe not financially, but in so many other ways. As I started to feel more positive about myself, things started to get better. I started to picture and feel what I would be like if I did have money and was unburdened of this crippling worry. The result of living with the fear of scarcity made me a nervous wreck.
I started to dream again of what I wanted from life and most importantly because Bron had so much faith in me as a person I started to feel I deserved and was even entitled to full on happiness. This was a full turnaround. I started to feel better.
After Bron
I wake up every day and feel pure joy in my heart. I love my life! I am really good at celebrating myself. Bron gave me the tools.
I faced up to my financial mess and dealt with it. I asked for help, and I got it. And I meditated everyday on how I would feel to live without financial worry. I really went there. It took a year of doing this but it happened. Last year all of my debts were cleared. Done. I was free!
My new found boundaries helped me to pick and choose what was right and aligned for me and make some seriously good decisions! (I learnt to say no).
I started to embody a feeling of abundance. There was enough for me! Yay!
Today I love my life. My money is flowing through work and all kinds of other stuff which has come my way. I’m just getting used to it.
It’s amazing. I came to see it wasn’t really about the money in itself, it was the scarcity model which had me gripped with fear in all areas of my life.
I do still have stuff to work on of course, but I feel like I am now living my life fully and wholeheartedly and joy has replaced fear.
Wow!!! Watch this space
Emma xx
I'm a bit obsessed with Emma, can you tell?
If you'd like to revisit a series of coaching conversations with me OR try it out for the first time get in touch or book in a free 1-2-1 online clarity call.
Thank you for your time and spirit today
x Bron
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